Week 31

Took compassionate leave from this virtual location for survival-pivotal obligations of late. I’ve been up to a rather eventful week, coming to an end soon:

Monday 30/07 and Tuesday 31/07
Typical in camp day except with a documentary-filled course. It was great taking time away from work to watch some documentaries educative on disasters and failures of the past century, and the best part – skipping Tuesday’s 7km run (which I think I would rather participate). Missed my Monday BTT which means I have to book it all over again. Oh why must I always learn the hard way. It was an instance of human-neuro failure once again, and it has not been the virgin occurrence.

Wednesday 01/08
An elation-filled six hours of roaming around the island. I went first to NYJC where I met, in chronological order, Mr Seah MY, Ms Ng SH, Mr A Tan, Mr Sequeira, Mr G Tay, Mr A Low, Mr R Bong, Mr Leong CM and Mrs Chan KL. Rather delighted to have met almost all teachers possible despite having no signal from them. Well, that’s coincidence I guess. Went to GESS after taking a stroll around the campus, where I caught up with Mr Ang GC, Mr AJ and Mr Chan CL. And I’m glad I made clear my future plans to my former teachers, all of whom would, I suppose, be sufficiently glad that I’ve come so far. And visiting almas mater never fail to give a feeling of nostalgia – be it amongst the people, places or culture. Like I mentioned on Twitter,

@kohkl: You can never feel the exam mood in #NYJC.

Indeed. Times change, people change – students might be more ambitious or jovial, have more substance or less. NYJC can be going into an academic fixation cycle; or GESS might be on an aspiration decline spiral for all I care. Some things never erode over time – I just get that ever-familiar feeling – that gentle gust of bittersweet emotions blowing right into your heart, yet stopping by my ear to tell me that there’s no going back, as I walked past places that once bore large significance in my life, and the life that used to be.

Thursday 02/08 and Friday 03/08
In the opinions of many, returning to camp on the former was redundant and, like many other command directions in the armed forces, corrodes efficiency and was totally uncalled for. That day was critical for me in completing everything needed to finish running this course smoothly, ensures administrative prudence and diligence, and there is still more to complete today and tomorrow. As per usual, I procrastinated much and ended up squeezing all the work within minutes.

Friday made me discover an incumbent  issue with my environment and myself. Once again, I found myself misaligned with many others around me, but they were likely misaligned with the organisation in the first place. To me,

One conducts himself parallel to three directions: (1) That of the organisation, (2) That of the higher command, (3) Nothing.

I know I can’t expect everyone to have the same mindset. But I just can’t comprehend this commitment and professionalism projection issue going on within those who seem to not bother. So what if it’s something you’re not predisposed to? But excellence is a habit, not an occurrence. Yes, I’m someone who really cannot tolerate nonchalance and unprofessional behaviour. Really.

Saturday 04/08
We were having a discussion about how children of lower-educated backgrounds might end up with life and career prospects similar to those of their parents. It’s very much a culture and mindset problem that gives rise to such a viscous loop – one in which focuses are vastly different from those we are predisposed to. Eugenics must come into the equation to, so will opportunities and the mental model instilled in the child. It’s sadly true and real, and the rest of society can’t do anything about it. It’s up to them to fight for themselves, as much as the community would encourage them to.