Teklanika Nature Photography

“Seasons”
Chugach State Park, Alaska
09/28/2012
Canon T4I
Sigma 24-135mm lens @ 78mm
1/640 sec @ f8
iso 200
© Teklanika Photography 2012

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In Life

After three days of an office job, I’ve learnt not just the technical skills and soft skills of the workplace, but a great deal about myself too. It seems like I, like many others, can’t stick to a deskbound job for life. Sounds cliche, yes. A facade, no.

My ideal job would include lots of talking, meetings, presentations, brainstorming – I need to be engaged constantly. And preferably, physically moving around and out of the office itself to meet and talk to people about what I’m passionate about, what I love. Add all these to the regular clearing of emails and writing of policies (note: I wouldn’t be able to tolerate things on IT that involve no creativity, nor critical thinking – e.g. systems management or data storage on the system).

Best of all, my dream job might be able to include some literal running around. Sum up everything, and that explains why I love being an instructor previously in the Navy so much. I get to talk to people, colleagues, end-users, all on a regular basis and directly. I get to create things at my free will above some regular admin work. I get to work via email and get things done. I get to talk to superiors, peers and subordinates every single day (more like every single hour). Work then was therapeutic and doesn’t drain me at all.

Yes, I’m a go-getter. Who knows what might happen in the next few years?

Fulfilling, well-filled past week and part of this week.

• Started my intense driving lessons
• Right foot recovered from injury
• Did up some staff work and proposals
• Attended Allcare’s graduation (emceed for it actually)
• Had my first ART training! Very tiring though.
• Collected my SVM race pack
• Good rest on Sunday
• In camp for whole of Monday, some work too
• Last Arms Presentation on Monday 19 Nov
• Driving lessons and e-trial today, 20 Nov

Upcoming

• ORD FFI tomorrow afternoon (YAY!)
• More driving lessons
• Wisdom tooth operation on Friday, 23rd
• And the one month MC that it entails!
• SVM2012 on 25 Nov 2012 (Sun)
• IMOS cohesion on 30 Nov on civilian turf

Staying true to self

The past few days haven’t been fruitful.

So after my injury, I went to see my GP on Tuesday (I didn’t really have to hop anymore, as compared to Monday and earlier Tuesday). Got three days of MC and actually resoluted to stay home doing productive things like reading, blogging and writing but ended up watching videos instead. Damn unhealthy, without optical rest and what-nots. As of Wednesday night, I could more or less walk properly, but haven’t did any exercise until now, just to be safe.

At times I feel I just need an outlet for all the pressure in me. Self-induced pressure, highly likely. I’ve been caught in multiple struggles with myself – between gratification and wellness 90% of the time.

I’ve become highly sensitive, easily agitated, and trying very hard to curb my emotions as a result. That’s unhealthy too, I know.

This temporary house seems to have something wrong. I’ve been really lazy, become incoherent, and probably less intelligent both academically and emotionally since we’ve moved here. I just don’t feel right every day, and I need to escape.

I need to escape.

Of Late

The past few weeks, probably even since August, have been rather fulfilling and well-occupied. Being a senior-cum-chief has its benefits, and I suppose I’ve turned into a workaholic of late, just because loving the nature of work, the impact I make, and the peripherals I might get, with some luck and extraordinar-ity.

Been doing some races including AHM, Nike We Run, and Newton 30km Challenge. I’m only happy about the result for Newton though. From http://runnersperspective.wordpress.com/races/:

3. Army Half Marathon 2012 – 21km (Sep 9, 2012) 1h 54min
4. Nike We Run SG 2012 – 10km (Oct 21, 2012) 59min
5. Newton Challenge 2012 – 30km (Oct 28, 2012) 2h 45min

I’ve also got myself on the radar for (sometimes) the wrong reason in camp. Anyway, I’ve did a behemoth amount of meaningful things, nonetheless. Doesn’t really matter anymore, I suppose. Really happy with what I’ve accomplished, be it physically, cognitively, or what-nots. Submitted some scholarship applications, fine-tuned my blogs, did some good workouts, and had some great results and interpersonal boosts.

Somehow, my right foot is in immense pain now. Right now. After wearing an elevated type of dress shoes to Malaysia to attend a wedding on Sunday, some muscular-tendon group on the outside of my right foot became sore. Aggravated by sleep last night and this afternoon, I had to limp home, literally. I just Googled, it’s the extensor digitorum brevis I suppose. Well, I didn’t see the MO today – I believe I will tomorrow.

Weekly reviews since September:

• Week 40 (24/09-30/09): Hectic week-before-final-week, though we had a great IMOS cohesion on Friday where I made vital (re)links with others in the unit. Did rock-climbing, abseiling, high-ropes, swimming, and cross-country, all in the same day. Missed out 2/12’s final IPPT though.
• Week 41 (01/10-07/10): The much-dreaded POP week which didn’t turn out to be too bad anyway. Wasn’t too tiring as expected, but almost died, literally. Just saying anyway. Ended with a really high 2/12 POP which made many happy YAY.
• Week 42 (08/10-14/10): The even-more-dreaded post-admin week. Not too eventful though except for a nice huddle-talk with Institute Commander.
• Week 43 (15/10-21/10): Fulfilling Tuesday at the SAFSA cross-country though I didn’t run, I witnessed how much better others can be compared to me. Had my first driving lesson that night, it was thrilling, and have always been till now.
• Week 44 (22/10-28/10): Stepping up my driving-learning efforts by constantly attending lessons. Besides, attended a court martial (really eye-opening experience) and also the Formation Commander’s conference (which I, as usual, had something to say). Week culminated in a pleasing 30km run Newton run at East Coast Park on Sunday (see here for more).
• Week 45 (29/10-04/11): Booked in three times at night this week – 7km run, 3/12 BMT enlistment, and last night (for monthly colours actually). The 7km was good, relaxing and rejuvenating especially after Newton, followed by a refreshing swim at Serangoon thereafter. And Enlistment was almost flawless (at least for me), and I learnt the true meaning of letting go.

Haven’t been very faithful to my productivity resolution though. I’ve been blaming myself for that, slothing around engaging in mentally and physically unhealthy stuff in front of this stupid 17″ screen. Let’s just hope I can stay true to my (silent) words in the future, and as I leave service. Focus is hard to come by, it requires ultimate determination and will from the individual.

Top 25 Worst Facebook Behaviours

In no particular order.

1. Keying in the entry year instead if leaving year for school/college info.
2. Literally entering the workplace.
3. Sending endless app requests to friends.
4. Adding unknown people without identification.
5. Not accepting friend requests and do not have the courage to tell you straight.
6. Fake accounts.
7. Excessive sharing of photos from pages.
8. Liking one’s own posts.
9. Commenting after putting up a photo (why not write it in the tagline?)
10. Multiple comments for one reply when there’s an edit function.
11. Tagging people on non-photos excessively.
12. Sharing and liking just to win prizes, it degrades oneself totally.
13. Asking people to like one’s page/event when it has nothing to do with them/they can’t attend it at all.
14. Action/location reporting per 15 minutes and Facebook roosters.
15. Linking other SM platforms to Facebook, cutting that number to three.
16. Sharing photos without adding value to it by commenting.
17. Liking a status when it is a question.
18. Bragging about a relationship, again, excessively.
19. Not replying comments when obviously expected to, leaving the other person like a fool.
20. Not entering proper/providing misleading job titles for work info.
21. Commenting without thinking, making one self look like a fool.
22. Not clearing (hence not responding to) notifications, especially wall posts and comments.
23. Timeline hoggers.
24. People who don’t understand the proper use of Facebook – networking, contact, interaction, and moderated updating.
25. Anything that’s an obvious no-brainer.

Dear Singapore

Originally posted as my 15th Facebook note at http://www.facebook.com/notes/kl-koh/dear-singapore/10151050780602479

In response to: http://therealsingapore.com/content/saf-insensitive-towards-deceased-nsfs-family
Which brings me to a few other topics regarding soldier and parents’ mindset I would like to bring up.

First of all, calm down, Singapore. Dear TRS and netizens, the card might probably be a SAFRA, Chevrons, or Aviva card, and these organisations might be affiliated to the SAF but their administrative lapse have nothing got to do with the SAF. Probably the family of the deceased failed to cancel them via the respective clubs, and hence they are still mailed out by system.

Yes, I am defending my organisation. Fighting for my organisation, in my opinion, and as bizarre as it might sound, is one of the most purposeful things I could do in a short and contract two years. If any other individual says untrue things about SAF, even on the day I collect my pink IC, I will still react similarly.

The mindsets these parents have are really irking me to the core. Conscription isn’t something desirable, not even for me. We all yearn to complete it as quickly and smoothly as possible, but in the meantime, we ought to make full use of the time and learn how to defend our country, for if not us, then who?

What irks me more is the military-society relationship I see as a strife in our increasingly information-based society. As a matter of fact, for those calling for more safety safety is rigourous enough, but human errors are bound to occur, let alone the ambiguity of the ‘soldier mentality’ checkbox on the RAC card. What have happened, I believe, are isolated incidents and a result of unconditioned young men serving the nation. It’s simple – if you’re not fit enough, make yourself fitter, not get your parents to complain, get your girlfriends to cry, get your aunties to write letters, get your uncles to talk to your commanders, get your brothers to talk to your PC, or get yourself to your Member of Parliament. This isn’t how consrciption works. If we continue to play the blame game, we’ll make a huge mockery, which observers are already seeing.

Yes, commanders can be equally young as men, but WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT“none the wiser than the boys they are tasked to oversee”. We are of similar age to understand each other better, not to undermine the importance of responsible and sound decision making. As a commander, I fully understand that decisions can separate my men from life and death, but we are rigourously trained in responsible decision making that would take into account of soldier mentality, welfare, safety conditions, mission focus. I am adequately trained and rightfully entrusted to make decisions and take care of my peers, and don’t need “more stringent monitoring of staff who oversee NSF, to weed out abuse of power at all levels” .

As a matter of true fact, my boss trusts me, I trust my boss; my men trust me, and similarly, I trust my men. My men are everything to me and I have never once put myself before them. I have that mindset right in me, hence I am in the business. If any of my fellow commanders have the audacity to deviate from that course, I would banish them from the training and man management fraternity at all costs. And of course, I have absolutely not seen or heard of any abuse of power in the SAF in my 20-month tenure so far; if not, similarly, at all costs.

And if all pre enlistees were to go through a more thorough pre-enlistment check, I suppose there would be no one left to defend Singapore. Everyone screened to be slightly unfit would likely push their way to get a PES E9L9, and that would leave our Armed Forces with a brigade of keyboard warriors. Given further the health habits of youngsters today (such as binge drinking, underage smoking, sleep patterns, or intense video-gaming), there would be only a handful left fit to protect our frontline should there be a more in-depth medical screening. The apparent (though not true) touch-and-go system still has its benefits in keeping our soldier population combat-fit.

Yes, they might be pseudo combat fit, which means that there might be some underlying, undiscovered, or undeclared health problems (not declaring a previous health problem is commonplace, and I propose we should all take a less apathetic stand to our own health). But the purpose of two years in the Armed Forces is to keep our boys’ body and mind healthy, and to toughen them up if they are not already so. I personally have a host of back and breathing problems and childhood diseases, and declared them, and still getting a PES A from the checkup. I didn’t complain, I didn’t whine. I wanted to make myself stronger and tougher, so I simply took a ‘load up and charge’ mindset.

Parents always call for MINDEF to be accountable to them, but how accountable do they want MINDEF to be? Just like kindergartens, where teachers report to parents every day? “Oh, your child has been well-behaved today!” Or post Facebook updates? “The 248th battalion is currently going to Sector 3A for an urban capture exercise. The enemy strength is two times lesser, smokes and blanks would be expected. Troops are to enter from west and flank south. Do not shoot hostages. Contact command post at channel 13 for reinforcements, channel 15 for reports.” Sounds ridiculous? No they don’t, the requests do. MINDEF can’t possibly update each and every parent on the whereabouts of a serviceman and what they are doing. If parents want to, they might love to insert GPS chips into their sons and place a third eye on their foreheads (but have them dismounted in red zones though). Applause for ridicule. A soldier is a grown man, and the onus is upon him to inform his parents on his unit life, and commanders on any mission-based worries he might have.

If all these were to happen, I think we would become a mega-joke to other Armed Forces. Militaries around the world pride themselves on being fit, tough, and able to take whatever comes their way, be it unexpected missions, unfair situations, or in this case, the passing of a comrade. If the young men in line to serve the nation can’t even embody these simple qualities, we can forget all the talk about the seven core values, and forget about CTF151, Ops Flying Eagle, Ex Bersama Lima, etc. We can have the best troops making friends and displaying tip-top professionalism to others, but there is zero significance in all those if back home, our young men cringe and whine over injuries and the inability to resist tought training.

All soldiers would it isn’t easy simply to train as a soldier with a load, sometimes your buddy’s as well, on your shoulders, much less in a situation when we come back from exercises, spend four hours unloading, recovering, and cleaning our weapons, and then hear such ear-itching comments when we sit back and relax the next weekend morning.

Dear Singapore and my fellow countrymen, if you had a glimpse of what I do but can’t explain, what I feel but can’t describe, what I think but can’t articulate, you would totally understand me, and the purpose and significance behind pouring out my heart and soul in training my men to their fullest potential.

Hey yah oh yah

1. Is it just me or is the Navy singlet physically larger than a same-size Army one?

2. Gonna get all my 10-pack items from the new specs and officers akan datang.

3. Pre-Course Brief tomorrow at 7am, seems like a move to filter the weak. I am the weak HAHAHA.

4. Cross country training tomorrow, targetting a mid-19.

Emotion

I feel the sudden urge to protect and provide for someone again.

Best dream of my life

Sometimes, what we think we wouldn’t want and need most would just come right there at the moment. And at times, we just couldn’t control it, or resist its strength for that matter. The strength of emotion could at times overpower even those mentally strong and cognitively sophisticated, apparently made ready for such resistance but succumb to it when the time is ripe.

It was a handful of friends on an outing to a rural, mountainous area. I know we could never have this setting in Singapore, but it just somehow occurred here. I couldn’t name a plot location, but just describe it – more than 1000m above sea level, hilly terrain, worn-out houses, narrow roads littered with bicycles and motorcycles, and children playing freely while elderly men work on handicraft or steelworks.

Somehow, sometime through the trip, two of us broke away from the group. We were engrossed in talking about anything under the sun, probably due to the fact that we’ve grown rather close and comfortable with each other. We walked to a gentle slope and she sat down, with me still in awe of the wonderful scenery that view was offering – overlooking the road that could barely allow one vehicle to pass, and a sea view from god-knows-how-many-feet above.

I sat down right next to her. In the background was a magnificent setting sun, and that further catalysed the process of our hearts opening up. We talked about relationships, partners, and how tired life could get; and upon that juncture she lay her head on my shoulder. My heart suffered a spasm and then moved up a gear, not knowing how to react to such situations being single for the past 20 years of my life.

We lazed around for the next few moments, before deciding to make our way back to rejoin everyone else. We went down to walk along the road, and we could both sense that physical vicinity while we tried to get closer to the other party. When crossing a bridge that presides over a 200-feet cliff, I turned her around by the shoulder and looked into her eyes,

“I’ve got something really important all this while I need to tell you.”

She looked back at me, and seemed to have anticipated it without any surprise.

“And that is?”

“We’ve known each other for quite some time, and I couldn’t help but…”

With my hands trembling on her shoulders, she replied with a huge grin,

“Permission granted sir. From today onwards I shall be your girlfriend.”

With immense joy, I immediately took her into my arms with a huge hug. I had to finish my statement:

“I just had to let you know you’ve always been in my heart. I love you.”

We looked at one another, touched each other’s faces for a moment, and with the greatest achievement ever felt in my whole life, I grabbed her by her left hand, and we held hands as we continued walking and with her leaning on me. She wasn’t very pretty, she didn’t have a killer-figure, nor was she outstanding in any way. But at least to me, she was the shiniest star in the night sky, and I’m glad I’ve made the right decision at the right time. Upon reconnection with the group, we looked at one another and blushed amidst the cheering, congratulations and whistle-blowing.

It was the best dream of my life.